I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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