Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
