ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My dick has a subreddit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
