OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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