her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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