a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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