I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the day after is always just damage control
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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