I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He shit in the fireplace
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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