Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
