I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
