He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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