So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
