hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
