yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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