he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
