I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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