What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
