How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
