I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
