i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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