He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
