i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
