Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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