Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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