I have demons in me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
