Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
