I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
