Sponge bath it is.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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