So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
