Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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