Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
