i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
