maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
