you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
