He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
