she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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