Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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