Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
