chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
we should paint friendship bongs
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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