IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
