If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
