I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
