I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
