Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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