Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
