Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
