He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
