i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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