Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
