I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
