I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
