I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
