so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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